How Not To Upset a Pregnant Tonks
by Amy227
Summary: Why is Tonks snubbing Remus? Why is the whole Order glaring at him? And why are Mad-Eye and Sirius threatening him? A clueless Remus learns to be careful around pregnant women... Slightly AU because Sirius is too cool to die.


**Second oneshot in a day, hooray go me :P I've been toying around with this idea in my head for a while now, but I'm not sure about the final outcome, let me know what you think?**

**Disclaimer: still not mine :(**

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"Dora, sorry, could you move up a bit, please? You're taking up too much room." asked Remus, walking in from the kitchen after making a cup of tea for himself. Tonks, who was sat in the middle of the two seater, pursed her lips as she moved up, as far to the edge as she could.

"Thank you." said Remus, sitting down beside her. He leant forward and retrieved the book from the coffee table in front of him then leant backwards and opened up to the page he left off on, sipping his tea innocently. Little did he know, he'd just made a big mistake.

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"I just – I don't know what to do anymore," wept a tearful Tonks, crying into Molly Weasley's shoulder. The Order meeting was scheduled to start 10 minutes, and every other Order member had arrived, with the exception of Remus, who had stayed behind to deal with some undealt business.

"It's okay, darling," Molly said, patting her soothingly again. "Remus is probably just not thinking straight."

"No, he – he is, I mean, look at me, I'm huge! He doesn't want a stupid, ugly, fat wife, he's not interested in me anymore, he just read his book and didn't even care… what – what is the point, he doesn't care…" and Tonks broke into uncontrollable sobs.

"Wait," Sirius' brow furrowed in comprehension. "So, let's get this straight: Remus sat next to you, called you fat, then ignored you?"

Tonks nodded, rather helplessly.

Everybody at the table looked rather stunned. Nobody in their right minds would suspect Remus of doing this.

"He's always had a screw loose." Mad-Eye stated. Kingsley, Arthur and Bill nodded in agreement.

"Perhaps it's the moon cycle? I believe it is, in fact, full moon in exactly five days time?" Albus suggested, although even he looked unconvinced.

"And – and now," continued Tonks, sniffling after every other word. "Now, he's avoiding me altogether, I – I told him, I said to him, I'm coming here for the meeting – and he – he didn't even look me in the eyes – he just said he'd come later – with-without me."

Several people shook their heads in disapproval. It was at this moment the front door closed, and Remus could be heard walking down the corridor. Tonks regained her posture, and he opened the door, smiling politely at everybody.

"Hi everyone," he greeted them, although with one look around the table he met no smiles in return. "Shall we, er, get started? Everybody here?"

"Yes, Lupin." Mad-Eye informed him, sternly. "Everybody is here. Sit down."

Remus obeyed and pulled out a chair beside Tonks (gaining him even more 'why are you even bothering' looks), and was rather shocked at the tone of Mad-Eye's voice.

"Has something happened?" he asked, tentatively, looking at Sirius for some help. He was met, again, with a rather solemn look.

"Nothing you don't know about." replied Arthur, as nobody else did. He did look as though he wanted to get a move on, though. "Shall we begin, then?" he asked, looking at Dumbledore for his approval, who nodded.

"Alright then," he began, with authority. Everybody's glares at Remus came to an abrupt close, although throughout the meeting he received several angry looks from various Order members.

"I trust that everybody has said everything that they wish to say?" questioned Dumbledore, an eyebrow raised as he surveyed the table. When nobody responded, he stood up. "I think that this is the end of the meeting, for today then? I'd best get a move on, but I wish everybody the best of luck until then, personal matters or otherwise."

With that, he left, leaving Remus feeling strangely vulnerable. The way Dumbledore looked at him just then was almost as if he knew something personal about Remus, that he himself did not. Remus supposed this was just another example of his over-sensitivity, and pushed it to the back of his mind. Everybody else at the table said their goodbyes, Mad-Eye cornered Remus, dragging him to an isolated area of the crammed kitchen.

"I don't know what you're playing at, boy," scowled Mad-Eye. Remus was clueless.

"Have I done something wrong?" he asked in alarm.

"You know full well what you have done!" barked Mad-Eye. "Now, listen here! Tonks is in a very fragile state, given her current situation, so I suggest either you play nice, or you step away from her? Are we clear? _Are we clear_?" he repeated, shaking him madly.

"Y-yes," Remus stuttered. "We're most certainly clear. I'd never even consider mistreating her."

Mad-Eye looked him up and down.

"I don't know your game, Lupin, but I'm watching you." And with that, he left.

Remus took a few deep breaths, and once his heart had gone back to its steady rhythm, walked back to the table where Tonks, Sirius and Molly were sat. Tonks, he noticed, looked rather down.

"You'll never guess what Mad-Eye has just spoken to me about," he smiled, trying to lighten the situation. If he didn't trust himself, he hadn't trusted his judgment, he wouldn't have known whether he'd spoken or not, for nobody responded to this. "Sweetheart?" he added, hopefully, addressing Tonks. "Are you alright? You're looking a bit put out."

"Yeah, Remus, I'm fine." she responded, curtly, not quite meeting his eye. There was another awkward silence.

"I think I should head back, I didn't quite finish that report I was drafting before I came here."

"Oh right, so you're just going to leave her again?" interjected Sirius. Remus looked bewildered.

"What? No, Dora can come too if she wishes – I just mean I don't want to force her to come back if she wants to stay here. To insinuate such a thing is just – what the hell has happened? Why is everybody acting so terse? Did something happen before I arrived?"

"Oh, well at least he can feel the tension, if his wife's feelings aren't enough." muttered Sirius. Remus looked exasperated.

"Have I done something?" he said, finally, once he'd been able to form coherent words, given his state of confusion, in his mind.

"Don't act all oblivious, Remus," scolded Molly. "Really, I thought you'd have known better. To say such things to a girl, pregnant or otherwise, is just rude, and I never would have thought you able of delivering such nonsense."

Remus racked his brains, but there was absolutely nothing he could think of.

"I honestly haven't got a clue as to what you are talking about. Enlighten me?"

Sirius let out a deep sigh, before standing up and dragging Remus by the arm, none too gently, out of the kitchen and into the corridor, before rounding up on him, pushing his chest out as a protective instinct. Remus fell back onto the wall in defeat, still as puzzled as before.

"Moony." Sirius began. "When you and Tonks started dating, I thought 'good for them, they deserve it',"

"Where is this going?"

"_I'll get to that_. Anyway, I thought you two needed a break from all this war stuff, but I thought to myself, one bad move on your part and you've fucked up, big time. Tonks doesn't deserve any of this shit you're giving her-"

"I don't know what I've done!"

"You don't even care, do you?! That's my cousin in that next room, and I'll be damned if I let you just muck about with her emotions. She's _pregnant_, Remus! _Pregnant_! With _your _baby, does that mean nothing to you?!"

"Of course it means something to me! I haven't been 'mucking around with her emotions', I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing! _Please _tell me what I've done wrong!"

"You, calling her 'fat', and ignoring her and trying to avoid her – what has she done to deserve-"

"_What_?"

"What do you mean 'what'?"

"I haven't done any of that, where did you get that from?"

"Don't go playing Mr. Nice Guy, Remus, Tonks told us-"

"Tonks told you that I called her fat, ignored her and am attempting to avoid her?"

"Yes."

"Why would I call her fat? That makes no sense, she isn't fat,"

"Well, she is pregnant…"

"And I haven't ignored her at all, I respond to her every need. Padfoot, I got up at 4am last week to buy her herbal sleeping tablets because she woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep, only to find that when I got back home she _was _asleep, and why on earth would I avoid her? It's hard to spend a waking hour _without _her, without feeling like something is missing."

"Hmm, I suppose you do get used to the constant babbling after a while that it just seems normal." added Sirius, as an afterthought.

"Indeed."

"So you really didn't call her fat?"

"Or ignored her, or avoided her, no."

"Have you told her that?"

"I wasn't aware that she thought I'd called her fat until a few minutes ago, Padfoot, where on earth would she have gotten that from?"

"Well why don't you go and confront her about it?"

Remus took this piece of advice and returned back into the kitchen, where he met Molly comforting Tonks again, muttering words of comfort such as, "You're not fat, darling", "I'd give anything to be your size" and the like.

"Dora," said Remus, gently. "I think there has been a huge misunderstanding, I haven't _once _called you fat, where did you get that from?"

"You did," replied Tonks, shakily. "You said this morning, I was sat on the sofa minding my own business and you called me fat because you couldn't fit on the sofa when I was sat down."

Remus' brow furrowed.

"Are you sure you didn't dream this, sweetheart?"

"No, I didn't dream it – you sat down after telling me to move because I'm fat, then just started reading your book without even glancing at me, like you didn't even care that you'd hurt my feelings, and you've already _read _that book, Remus, so you don't even care about me enough to have a conversation with me."

"Of course I care enough about you – I didn't tell you to move because you're fat, you're anything but fat, and even if you were, you're still perfect in every way. I'm really sorry if I upset you, Dora, I honestly didn't mean to, it's just, it was a really good book. If you want to talk I'd never ignore you, or avoid you, or call you fat. I think this whole situation has been completely misunderstood."

"So you don't think I'm fat and ugly, and you do still love me and you aren't ashamed of me?"

"I'd never be ashamed of you."

Tonks' eyes watered, and she jumped into Remus' arms, clinging onto him tightly. Remus couldn't remember a day that he'd been so confused. A girl was hugging him because he didn't call her fat? Sirius made a gesture behind her signalizing that he thought she was crazy. Remus shrugged in agreement.

"I'm – I'm so happy that you still love me," Tonks said, breaking into tears again. This extremely-un-Tonkish behavior was very odd. "I thought – I thought you would leave me…"

"Don't be stupid," Remus smiled. "I'd never leave you."

Tonks paled.

"You…you think I'm stupid?"

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**Anddddd on that note, please leave a review? :)**

**Also, if you enjoyed this story, then you might also like my other one, "Hormones", which is on my profile and also includes an over emotional Tonks :)**

**Thank you for reading (if you got this far, anyway :P)**


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